Bloodied Memories
by StarlightDragonRider
Summary: Such a happy family life before and a series of new friendships and horrific experiences after. 'Tis the life of Fem!Cousland. Snarky, witty, and most of all conflicted, she has seen it all. No one can touch her heart, unless it be with the taint of hatred that comes with war. And now she is tainted with something else: the life of a Grey Warden. Rated M for muchness of chaos.


_~ ~ Hi there everybody! This is my very first DA:O fanfiction. I hope I'll do alright on it. I have a bunch of other stories swirling around in my mind and this one is sort of a practice piece for me stretching my skills at writing a more somber and depressing work. Don't worry, it's not all gore and sorrow. There's some of that characteristic party banter in here. Couldn't leave that out! Anywho, this first bit is like a prologue. Just a quick interpretation of the human noble origin from my Fem!Cousland's point of view. _

_Well, I'll quit blabbing for now and just let you all read. Enjoy! _

_And by the way, I do not own any part of Dragon Age: Origins. I only own Fem!Cousland. ~ ~_

* * *

**Noble No More**

_There comes a time in everyone's life when they feel that their fate has been altered. _

_For many, it is the day that they fell in love. For some, it is the first time that they lay eyes on a gleaming sword or a glittering treasure. _

_For me, it is the day that I lost everything..._

* * *

I tried not to think.

_The clang of sword on sword. _

I pushed away all thoughts and worries.

_A loud crack as metal splinters wood. _

I wanted to focus on only what happened now rather than later.

_The sickening sound of weapons connecting with flesh. _

My mind was only on the battle.

I cut down yet another one of Howe's men. His body hit the ground with a thud. I did not dwell nearby, but instead sought out the archer ahead. Before he could react, I was upon him. One blow shattered his weapon. The next impaled his helmet. The final had his gasping for air and choking on his own blood. As he crumbled, I wrenched my dagger from his chest quickly.

The shouts of approaching soldiers drove me on. I made my way forward mercilessly, ending lives with the speed of quicksilver. Remorse was far from me as I sliced my way through the throng.

And yet, I stumbled. My hands fiddled with an ornate key when moments ago they had wielded death with ease.

I burst through the door, nearly wrenching it from its hinges. I found the chest, again fumbling with a simple lock. Snatching up the sword and shield, I turned and bolted from the room. My mind's eye was blind to the other tokens lining its walls as all thoughts moved to the next task.

I fended off attackers from loyal men and friends. They immediately returned to their main objective: holding the main gates shut. As their leader turned away from me, I begged him to accompany us. He sent a friendly smile over his shoulder and used duty as an excuse. I screamed at him in anger, but he brushed it off lightly. He told me that I had bigger priorities than his safety; my line was at stake. He embraced me fondly and addressed me by the title I once despised.

_Milady_.

With angry tears, I made him promise to stay alive. Then, I ran from the hall with my mother in tow.

Our plans were shattered with more blood and tears. I tried to save what was left of my life with desperate claims. At each turn, they were denied. I cursed my weakness and my selfishness. It my wish to be included that had caused the Maker to bestow this grief upon us.

A supposed savior only sought to worsen the situation. He was granted approval for wickedness while I continued to fight. Words that once held comfort now brought pain. As the inevitable barred down upon us, the coward tried to calm me. He used my now precious name.

_Milady._

It pulled reason into my mind despite my struggles. That name was all that I had left. Previously scorn at, it drove me to accept my fate.

The man who was now my only holding to honor pulled me to my feet. With blurred vision, I now gazed down at my pain. They gave me kind and pained smiles before I turned away. Their goodbyes rattled in my ears as I sped away from them towards salvation.

A salvation earned at great cost.

Burned into my mind were ghosts of the ones I loved. The memories of their smiles and their laughter.

It was now that my pain overwhelmed me.

Tears flooded reality as I let it all consume reason. My sobs echoed down the road to my ravaged and lost home.

No longer was I the daughter of a teyrn. I was merely the leftover legacy of my family.

No more would I be a part of their lives. They were all lost to me. What hadn't yet been taken soon would be.

My life was only a shell of what it once was.

All nobility left me.

* * *

_~ ~ So? How was it? Tried to keep in the mood of it all with no dialogue. This is how it would be remembered if she was looking back on it. Only the important details and such. Like I said earlier, mostly just a practice piece that I might continue if I get enough reviews. If I do update, it probably won't be that often because I have other stories I want to take seriously. So, review if you like and chapter two might show up in a week or two. ;) ~ ~_


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